Inconsistency Is Our Speciality

SRT: The ultimate showman! {Image via Wikipedia}

Think of a flower. This particular flower is beautiful – some days. Other days it wilts with no apparent reason. It has a green stem, but people argue as to whether much of the liquids inside of this stem are green or not, as different days of testing yield different results. This flower has reputation for being choked when with other flowers and it may just collapse in a heap on the ground, allowing the other flower to thrive. Which flower are you thinking of? Yes, the Protea.

The Proteas cruised to victory in the opening test – as everyone rightly expected they would – before being thrashed in the Second Test. Surprised and annoyed, fans started viciously calling for players to be dropped. Enter the Third Test, and worried fans turned on their televisions at ten o’clock on day 1 before running behind their couch and watching from that security, fearful of what they might discover. As the next few days went on, their fear turned to caution, their caution turned to hope, their hope turned to satisfaction and their satisfaction turned to delight.

South Africa look way out in front as we head into the fourth day, and most would expect them to wrap the match up today – possibly before lunch. The optimists will call the match a success, the realists will call it satisfactory, and the pessimists will say that it was the a third of the minimum requirement for the series, and that we only achieved 67% of our goals. I will say that it is a fascinating display of inconsistency.

Jacques Kallis put his heart into maintaining an inconsistent style of play, scoring a pair in the Second Test before scoring a double century, his highest score, in the Third.

Meanwhile, Michael unselfishly sacrificed a shot at the world record Individual Test Score to give Australia the best chance of winning their Test match against a dispirited Indian side. Mr Tendulkar continued his brilliant, WWE-esque plan of getting the fans on the edge of their seats by dangling a carrot in front of them before ripping it away just as it touches their fingertips. Yes, the WWE has its haters, but haters gonna hate.

I blinked and I missed it!

Well not really. Many probably did miss the majority of the SL vs SA match though. Blame that chump Philander, I say. The fans don’t want  to watch random reruns of stupid TV series for two days, they want to watch cricket! Vernon should feel bad for stopping the fans from being able to witness 5 days of gripping action. Mark Boucher could have purposely dropped a few of those catches too!

On a (slightly) more serious note, that was a clinical performance by the Proteas. They never took their foot off the pedal and allowed Jacques Kallis to get his own back at Dilhara Fernando. Cho cho, as us South Africans say (roughly means “Yeah you deserved that”).

Yes, now’s the stage where you can yell: “Why oh why did the SA cricket board organise three Tests against the Lankans and only two against the Aussies?” The answer may well be: “Because three Tests against Sri Lanka will take place over the same number of days as two Tests against Aus!”

Who is my Man of the Match? Dilhara Fernando for the skills he showed with his fly swatting – epic stuff. No fly is ever safe when Jacques and Dil are around!