NZ vs ZIM – A Series Preview

16 12 2011

New Zealand have squeezed the life out of what promised to be an interesting series between them and Zimbabwe. If they hadn’t been so selfish to the neutrals and had instead been demolished by Australia like most expected, we could have had a series where Zimbabwe looked fairly capable of causing an upset (and don’t we all like upsets).
In fact, I’m half expecting New Zealand to…wait for it… field a second-string team. Until now I don’t think many of us knew that the Kiwis had 22 professional cricketers, but recently they have shown that not only do they have enough professional players for 2 teams, but they have enough to stick in a twelfth man as well. In the past while, Australia have managed to not win the 2011 Cricket World Cup and NZ have managed to win the rugby union equivalent. My theory is foolproof – the populations of Australia and New Zealand have been magically swapped by teleportation.
Meanwhile, Zimbabwe have improved from being a useless minnow to being a…well, less useless minnow. They beat a pre-teleported New Zealand in one out of the four matches the two countries (who both have the letter ‘Z’ in their name, its a sign!) played. A newly Australianised New Zealand will not tolerate anything but perfection. Expect the single Test match to be one within three days, the 3 ODIs to all be won by 8+wickets or 150+ runs, and the T20s to be won by 3549 runs and 12 wickets (or more). Then expect a gruff Ross Taylor to mutter “It was okay, we could have done better but we’ll take some positives from this.”

 

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